Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Quick Rant!

The other good thing about reusable bags over plastic, you don't have to panic if the baby puts one over her head.
I was in Walmart today with the youngest 4 kids. I had this conversation with a random stranger.

Random Stranger: "Wow, are these all your kids? You're not hiding anymore anywhere are you?"

Me: "Well actually, I have 3 more not with me today."

Random Stranger: " Really, are you serious?" " So you have like 9? " (I guess 3+4 =9, he must teach common core)

Me: " Well, only if you count the two who are married and moved out."

Random Stranger: " So are you trying to make your own baseball team?"

Me: " Actually, I was going for a football team."

Random stranger walks away laughing.


Now, Random Stranger was actually being nice compared to a lot of the comments I get out in public. He was laughing and smiling the whole time and didn't walk away muttering under his breath, so this rant isn't aimed directly at him. I've actually had much worse comments made in public about my family size. Once when Duncan was a baby, Rod and I were at the grocery store with the 4 little kids and these really nice seeming ladies came up to us and gushed over how adorable and well behaved the kids were. As they were walking away, one of them said that my kids were so cute I should have more of them. I told her that I agreed. Instantly their entire demeanor changed and they backed away from us muttering about how I must be sick and my husband should get me some medication. That was probably the worst response I've ever gotten. Usually I just get the "are they all yours?" and "Don't you know what causes that?" comments. Sometimes I get the "Oh, you poor thing, how do you ever manage?" and my personal favorite " You must be so patient and so organized!" That one is absolutely hilarious because patience is not one of my personal traits and organization is not my strength, as anyone who actually knows me is well aware of.


Okay, here's the rant part. Why is it anyone's business how many children I choose to have? I'm not giving them all up to foster care. I'm not completely neglecting them (contrary to what some of them might believe at any given time). I'm a stay at home Mom and I homeschool them too. They are obviously fed and clothed properly. There's no reason to think that I'm creating a whole bunch of kids I can't handle taking care of. So why does anyone care how many I choose to have? If we are talking about using birth control or getting an abortion it is "My body, my choice". So why doesn't that hold true if I choose to have more than two kids ( three is permissible under certain situations like two of the same gender or a new spouse).  I do happen to believe that my husband has a say, but if no one else belongs in my bedroom when we are discussing contraceptive choices, why are they allowed in if I'm choosing not to use contraception? I just find it so weird that no one seems to think the two are related. If someone in politics mentions anything about restricting abortions, everyone goes nuts, screaming at them about how it's a woman's personal choice and no one has a right to say anything. Even if the woman wants others to pay for their contraception or abortion. BUT,  it is perfectly alright to lambast anyone who chooses to have more than two kids.


Now, I'm not actually going to debate abortion, contraception, or reproduction here. I just don't understand why on one end of the spectrum, it is a personal choice. While on the other end of the spectrum it is destroying life as we know it (okay , it is a bit hilarious that choosing to reproduce is destroying life as we know it while choosing not to produce isn't) and therefore completely up for public comment. I just don't understand how the same people who are against laws limiting abortion and want everyone to have free contraception are the same people calling for laws to limit how many children a woman can have. Can't they see the irony? I'm just saying," My body, my choice" should work both ways. Is that really such a novel concept?


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